Too busy to chase my dream, how about you?

It may have been five years since I last posted on this blog, but I have worn out three journals in the meantime. Writing is what I know and how I feel better. I release my thoughts, feelings, and ideas. For a long time, my childhood dream was to be an author. The go-to response to "what do you want to be when you grow up". The woman who wielded the pen to create the beauty beneath the pages of books I flew through. When exactly did that dream stop or die? I have no idea. Today, that woman spends hours behind a computer screen creating reports and analyses.

Don't get me wrong, I have other fulfilling passions for enjoying a life that I can call my own. I have realized I have hobbies and pleasures that are the smaller pieces of the puzzle that make up the life I have come to know. Travelling, adventuring, exercising, hanging out with friends or family, just to name a few. Of course I am not paid to do any of these and in fact there is usually spending involved in some way or another. But that doesn't mean I cannot reflect on them as a part of a newer dream fulfilled. A pivot if you will.

I wish I could remember where I read it but there was a quote that said there are those who see their jobs as a means to support their life and others who see their careers as part of their life. I don't know, something along those lines. I think I can see crystal clear what season I am in right now. Sometimes it does hurt a little, talking with others who are so surely in their dream career and know exactly what they want to do professionally, because that is so not my reality. I am living in a pivoted season, always busy with work and new life goals but if you ask me my dream job please be ready for either a Ted Talk roundabout response or a squinted stare and long pause. As I mature I realize life will always find a reason to pick up. It could be now or so much later. I know I will always be a writer.

For anyone with dreams pushed aside in the mix of living the motions of life, if it can, it only needs to start small to just keep the flame alive. For me, it's themed blogs with a few paragraphs. It's an ongoing note on my phone of book ideas. Maybe for you it's a phone call, starting the account, or making the post. One word at a time, just pushing forward, remembering this is a love and passion worth protecting and keeping.